Are you being served?
Small children are sometimes heard to wonder why the tedious events to which their churchgoing parents drag them are called ‘services’. They probably find it a most unconvincing explanation that they are there to serve God, as the innocent childish mind does not see any such serving going on. Unless, perhaps, the church is like a bad restaurant, where the waiters serve the divine customer with three courses of overcooked praise, toxic petitions and warmed-over singing.
It may help to approach from a different angle. In Spain, ‘servicios’ can mean either the lavatories or commercial sexual acts: in tariff advertisements, for example, ‘dos servicios’ equates with the English ‘cum twice’. The church service, therefore, may be considered as a servicing, not of God but of the congregation; a repository for their emotional waste, and – especially with the charismatic rock-concert services – a satisfaction of their needs for emotional excitement.

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