Cleaning Up After The Blessed

When you get to heaven, who will be your servants there? For if you have to do your own housework, it can hardly be heaven. Perhaps they outsource the maid service to an infernal cleaning agency. If that is so, the damned souls who come up on the service elevator every day to scrub the floors of the blessed will have the extra punishment of seeing an inaccessible felicity.

If only a few from each walk of life are saved, then statistically, most of the damned will already be accustomed to this state of affairs from Earth. For that very reason, some religious movements have suggested that the chief business of an eschatology is to turn the previous class structure on its head, so that the first shall be last and the last shall be first. That is, the housemaids will now have their previous owners changing their linen.

But, you will say, heaven is surely a “spiritual” state? By no means, the creed Christians recite on Sunday mornings – and Islam too – proclaims the resurrection of the body, and bodies need looking after. If something does not leave dirt behind that someone else has to spend half their time dealing with, then it is not a body.

Posted on January 22, 2010 at 12:40 by Hugo Grinebiter · Permalink
In: THE LONGEST CON, Religion As Social-Status Tech

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  1. Written by dwasifar
    on January 26, 2010 at 06:48

    Maybe it’s what the eternal virgins from the islamic paradise do in their off time. They could be brought over on a shuttle bus, in teams of 72, to clean up after the christians.

    That way, they’ll be maids no matter where they happen to be serving.

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