The Biology Of Honeymoons

The Wikipedia’s attempt at explanation of the honeymoon cannot tear itself away from the pious lies we tell one another about human sexuality. It is, they claim, “the period when newly wed couples take a break to share some private and intimate moments that helps establish love in their relationship”, the privacy easing the comfort zone, whatever that means. The bridal journey is of fairly recent date, but there is an evolutionary rationale to the seclusion – a virgin bride and a month’s seclusion was the old-world technology for ensuring that at least the first child was the husband’s. For the seclusion would last only a month, after which he had to take his chances. That thought is not entirely unrelated to what we find in Muslim law regarding the remarriage of widows and divorcées, namely a period of waiting to see whether or not they have buns in the oven.

Every little detail had its reason. Why was the site of the honeymoon concealed? To prevent the charivari or “rough music”. Here the Wikipedia emphasises the social control aspect, the community’s disapproval of loose morals, but totally misses something else it could be – the young men’s resentment of a rich older man who had gotten one of their natural partners, a resentment that once upon a time could go well beyond hazing to abduction and rape. The wrinkly, therefore, had a very real reason to go somewhere unknown to enjoy his bride without having to watch her being gangbanged. But there was a countermove: the tying of tin cans to the vehicle helped the charivari follow the couple, or symbolically warned that they could not escape retribution.

Posted on August 27, 2011 at 10:23 by Hugo Grinebiter · Permalink
In: AGAINST NATURE, Against Nature, Miscellaneous

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