My Youthful Mistake?

I have spent the latter half of my life trying to reconcile the proto-feminism I seemed to have been inculcated with at an early age with what apparently sound observers later told me about how the world actually worked. On the one hand, as a youth I was told that women wanted good men, gentlemanly behaviour, love and so forth, and did my best to be one and do that. (Yes, I’m sorry, but that was the way everybody talked back then.) On the other hand, only in my mature years and dotage did I start hearing quite a different song, suggesting that all the lovey-dovey talk had been an outright con.

To take just two examples of the more modern discourse, the futurist writer Charlie Stross says that women “want to be fucked hard by a stranger, they just have to convince themselves that he’s sensitive and caring at first to get over their inhibitions.” The film critic Alex Kendziorski suggests that women are turned on by dehumanising bastards: “they only request the pretense of caring, as genuine affection is a repellent of the highest order… The man in love must be an idiot and worthy of scorn…” Put the two together and the implication is that What Women Want is first and foremost what Eric Berne called permissions. They want sex, but have been told by their mothers that they can only have it with a “nice” man. Ergo, pretend the swordsman is nice!

Posted on September 6, 2012 at 15:18 by Hugo Grinebiter · Permalink
In: WHAT WOMEN WANT, All The Nice Girls Love An Arsehole

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