The Heidelberg freemasonry
It is easy to mock as macho idiots the Heidelberg students of yore who duelled with swords for the sole purpose of acquiring a facial scar. But has anyone studied the question whether students with scars got laid more often than students without scars? If this is the case, it would make duelling an eminently rational activity.
It is also rational to desire a job. Once an arbitrary freemasonry is in place, whereby older men with scars preferentially appoint and promote younger men with scars, then acquiring a scar becomes a part of the process of qualifying oneself for a career, more important than mere scholastic grades. Were the entire economic future of female students to be dependent on duelling to acquire facial scars, they would take up the sabres too; after all, women have done much worse to themselves in order to land husbands.
3 Responses to “The Heidelberg freemasonry”
A scar is good, an eyepatch better. Both say to the woman, ‘I have been in ‘combat,’ and survived.’ Acne scars are taboo. They may indicate genetic weaknesses.
I have some experience with all this, having combined both–a scar that comes from behind the eyepatch and stretches from eye to mouth. All fake of course. An ex-girl, makeup artist introduced me to the glue used in making facial scars in Hollywood, and anyone can get an eyepatch.
And does it work! Even bouncers clear a path. Women can’t seem to take their eyes off this combination. It doesn’t take long, nor much booze, before one sidles up and says: ‘I’ve just got to ask you. What happened to your eye?’
Then it’s good to weep a bit, or mumble in Serbian. ‘There, there, my baby,’ she’ll say.
Obviously you mustn’t laugh at this point. Best take it to the next level. Head down on the bar now tell her, ‘the fighting was hand-to-hand.’ Sure fire thing.
But be forewarned about washing your face in the toilet whilst drunk. This happened to me. I put the patch on the wrong eye. She was giving me a strange look as I came back to the bar. Then she slapped me.
Lovely story, Mick, thanks for the chortle.
But if “ex-girl, makeup artist” is a typo for “ex-girlfriend, makeup artist”, I’ll gladly correct for you.
If it comes down to the critical moment then more drastic measures are required. Let’s say you get the woman into the bedroom and she won’t ‘do it.’ A little bit of Hebrew is good here, or Kurdish. Just wrap yourself in the sheets and go off the bed into the corner. Remember always to weep. Foreign languages arouse. Never use full sentences, but rather…’tanks, village, cut off, out of rockets.’ ‘Landmines’ works too. Soon she’ll be there, breasts and all, and asking, ‘if we had sex, would that ease the pain?’
‘A bit,’ you tell her.
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