On mistresses and toyboys

When rich men leave their aging wives for younger women, they are not recognised as responding to incentives, but considered as acting unethically in a vacuum. Right-thinking women are indignant, unless of course they themselves are the ones who get to replace those aging wives; and even otherwise, no right-thinking women would dream of condemning the younger women for making the abandonment possible. That would be an antediluvian and unsisterly response.

And let’s not talk about the rate of replacement for toy-boys. What, you say? Is keeping a younger sex partner rational behaviour in a lonely rich woman? Then it is rational behaviour in a lonely rich man.

2 Responses to “On mistresses and toyboys”

  1. urban - March 14, 2013 4:12 pm

    I’m reminded of an old girlfriend. I wanted out and every time I tried to bring up the subject of my dissatisfaction with the arrangements a flood of tears and irrelevancies and counter charges about how I was no picnic to be with and on and on would ensue. Pure squid ink.

    So you can imagine my relief when I bumped into her on the street arm in
    arm with another man. Her reaction to my seeing them together made the
    deceptive nature of the situation crystal clear. I didn’t get mad. Nobody likes being lied to, but hey, I was off the hook, right? At the time I had just met my now ex-wife and so I called her and asked her out. Yet when I used that she was seeing someone else and now I was too as an obvious juncture to break things off, she screamed bloody murder. I had betrayed her trust. What a monster! Like all men I was incapable of keeping my dick in my pants. I would fuck anything that would hold still long enough. And so on and so forth. That I had not actually had sex with my new love whereas she had with her back-door man, or that I am a stickler about breaking off the old one first–out of respect for both parties — was all irrelevant. The important fact was I had wanted to have sex with another woman, whether or not I controlled my impulses. Guilty as charged.

    When I protested that she had been seeing someone else first she responded. “That’s different. I was exploring my sexuality.” That I might have a sexuality too and that my sexuality might require some exploration as well, simply wasn’t on her radar.

    For all her talk about ‘relationship’ she was simply incapable of grasping that the very term itself necessarily involves another, someone who is not the self, someone who has needs and aspirations of their own that may not line up with hers.

  2. dwasifar - March 28, 2013 4:36 pm

    My second wife was like that. Pure double standard. Anything she wanted to do was justified, but not if I did it.

    In retrospect, I’ll bet you wish you hadn’t mentioned your other relationship and just kept the conversation focused on her stepping out. A person like that, given ANYTHING to hang an excuse on, will do it, no matter how flimsy the hook. Your nascent relationship provided her a convenient misdirection.

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