Producing For The Market; Two Case Histories

A friend tells me that at one point in her life she pretended to be a “bitch”. Although in my jurisdiction this word is proscribed as insulting to women, what I mean by it is someone of either gender who thinks that self-esteem and happiness are a scarce resource, of which everyone else should be, by means of constant social aggression, deprived. Photographs from this period do indeed show her with a permanent sneer. This, she said, she put on only because she honestly thought the guys went for “bitches”. They were a challenge, and everyone knows, or thinks they know, that men don’t like women to be no challenge at all. She was thus producing for the market. Or so she thought; in reality any man could have told her that virtually no one likes bitches.

Now let us take it from the opposite end. A man once confessed to me that he would ideally have liked to be soft and gentle with women, but since he had observed (or thought he had) that all kindness to women ever got you was a kick in the nuts, he did his very best, not always credibly, to act the hardass. He, too, was producing for the market. Or so he thought; in reality any woman could have told him that they liked him for the softness they perceived, or thought they did, beneath all the armour. It is worth noting that she did not have any brothers and he did not have any sisters.

Put these two stories together and what do we have? Both sexes pretending to be what the other sex actually dislikes, even though this is not really their nature, because they sincerely but erroneously believe that the other sex requires it of them. The errors of each side reinforce one another in an escalation of toughness and bitchiness that neither enjoys in either self or the other.

Posted on March 12, 2013 at 10:43 by Hugo Grinebiter · Permalink

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