Let’s Talk It Over

What should a man do when he catches his wife in flagrante delicto? Women only admit of a single solution: “talk”. As Mandy Rice-Davies might say: “well they would, wouldn’t they?” This is simple self-interest; first because talking is what women do best, so that in ten seconds flat they can make their adultery into his crime; and second because it excludes any reaction on his part that they might consider unwelcome, ranging from shooting them dead to going incommunicado for life. Even standing there and creating an awkward silence would be a cruel and unusual punishment for her – that is, relative to the joy of “talking it over”, which gives the woman absolutely everything she wants and nothing whatever that she does not want, for ever and ever amen.

But what if the situation were the other way round? What would happen if the husband, caught with a floozie in the connubial bedroom, suggested that they “talk it over”? Ah, then the only talking the women do is with one another, telling their friends about how they should have shot him dead or cut his dick off, and receiving much encouragement therein. Which shows that it is not, after all, a universal principle, a Kantian maxim of the action, that “a discovered infidelity shall be resolved by talking it over”. Women’s demand for talk is merely tactical, their true maxim is that nothing bad must ever result from their actions.

Posted on March 3, 2013 at 09:50 by Hugo Grinebiter · Permalink
In: The Unimpeachable Judges

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