Sorry, Guv, You Lost That One

The use of “Find the Lady” as a synonym for three-card monte or the walnut-shell game is wiser than it knows. For the reason why women have a reputation for being difficult to understand, or beyond the ken of such simple-minded creatures as males, is nothing to do with their actual nature or with men’s actual powers of perception – it is because women ceaselessly play the shell game and declare that we have lost it. In other words, just as whichever shell you point to does not contain the pea – for the excellent reason that none of them do, the operator having long since palmed it – so too, whatever statement you make about women in general or any individual woman is ruled to be false. The real mystery of the success of this method is why these sleight-of-hand rulings are accepted as statements of fact. To demonstrate how Find the Lady is rigged, you can in theory snatch away all three walnut-shells at once, thus demonstrating how the pea is under none of them. Men are in desperate need of some equivalent procedure.

It is useless for a man to contradict women regarding what they say they want; it is practically illegal to look at what they actually do instead; and it is offensive to suggest any contradiction between these two things. For these reasons, this Part is not addressed to women at all and their opinion is neither required, nor requested, nor desired, nor yet respected; above all, it is not believed. In other words, female behaviour will here be dissected, or rather vivisected, in the same spirit as for decades men have been researched, namely as if they were a kind of pathogen under the microscope; for bugs are rarely asked for their opinion about laboratory procedures or methodological assumptions. The Part is addressed solely to men who have suffered misapprehensions on this score and have been the object of predatory female strategising, especially in the form of tactically-motivated female proclamations about what women really want.

Posted on June 14, 2012 at 10:40 by Hugo Grinebiter · Permalink
In: WHAT WOMEN WANT, The Copernican Revolution

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