Everyone Wants A Big One?

These days, a man who appears to be proud of his penis is ruthlessly mocked in a way that a woman who seems proud of her breasts or other attractions is not. A man who wants a bigger penis is considered stupid, contemptible or risible, while a woman who wants bigger breasts is seen as an innocent victim of the patriarchy-owned media. Thirdly, for many women it is axiomatic that any male possession or position of power is a penis substitute – as if women never lust for possessions and positions of power! If we see a woman driving a red Ferrari, do we get to call it a boob substitute? I think not. But if no man is ever believed when he claims he bought the Ferrari purely for the driving experience, why should she be?

In particular, a man is considered a moron or a barbarian for thinking that a big penis is an advantage with the ladies. That would be fair enough if it were universally agreed that a big penis was wholly irrelevant to the business of pleasing the ladies, but in fact it is not so universally agreed. On the contrary, women have different opinions on this subject, just as men have different opinions about what they desire in women.

It is not difficult to find women who say that, other things being equal, a big penis is more fun than a small one; or to put it another way, a man with a big penis who knows what he’s doing with it is better than a man with a small penis who knows what he’s doing with it. But for almost every woman, there comes a point where it is too big; the ancient Indian and Chinese love manuals had a lot to say about picking partners with a complementary set of genitalia. They were wiser than modern Westerners, who assume that either bigger is better, for everyone; alternatively that bigger is not better, also for everyone. The characteristic Western sexual disorder may in fact be over-generalisation.

Given the fact that some women do think that bigger (within reason) is better, a particular man might well be mistaken in thinking that a particular woman will be pleased with his large penis, but that does not mean that it is inherently irrational – much less wicked – of him to think she might. Unless, of course, we accept the common view that not reading female minds is a felony. And the fact that many women who do not like large penises, or indeed any sort of penises, are both voluble and dogmatic on behalf of their entire sex does not make him foolish to hope to find favour in his prospective partner’s sight. It is not he who is deluded enough to imagine that all women have the same taste, it is they.

Another extenuating factor is this: if a man has a big penis, and sincerely believes that this makes him God’s gift to the ladies, then he will have enormous self-confidence. Now, women are much more attracted to self-confidence in a man than to any details of his equipment, and so such a man may be very successful with them and so acquire even more confidence. This is a virtuous circle. So in a way he is right and in a way he is wrong; he is right to attribute his sexual success to his big penis, but is under a serious misapprehension as to how this big penis achieves its effect. Such an error does not, however, make him stupid; he has to call it as he finds it. The evidence is before him, or rather beneath him.

According to Julie Burchill, the whole idea that “it’s not how big it is, it’s what you do with it that counts” is nothing but an invention of under-endowed sexologists. And we who thought that this was a traditional female argument! This reversal allows a heads-we-win, tails-you-lose argument: if a man thinks a big penis is pleasing to women, then he is a retro barbarian, but if he thinks technique is more important, then he is guilty of wishful thinking. Can a woman abuse one man for holding one position, and then the next man for holding the diametrically opposite position? Silly question.

3 Responses

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  1. Written by Mick Whitehead
    on September 1, 2011 at 18:38

    There are, of course, two elements to ‘big,’ girth and length. My field data indicates that the former is important to women because a thick lingam simulates, albeit in the other direction, childbirth. Indeed we find that as cells along the vaginal wall are stimulated the same ‘feel-good,’ hormone cocktail is released as during birthing.

    Women appear to like length for a somewhat different reason. We may take a parallel from war to explain. A sniper rarely misses at distances under 400 meters, but a 1,000 meter shot on a windy day is something else. As a rule the longer the barrel, the more accurate the shot.

    The reason most men like big breasts is twofold. The most obvious is ‘feeding power,’ the other, possibly less well known, is that cleavage simulates the female buttocks, what the ancient Hindoos called, ‘The Gateway to Pleasure.’

    And let us not be fooled on Valentine’s Day. Those of us that have seen a real human heart know well that the chocolate confection bear no resemblance and, in fact, is but another representation of the buttocks.

  2. Written by urban
    on September 1, 2011 at 23:56

    “another representation of the buttocks.”

    Yes! I’ve pointed this out numerous times to blank stares. To me, as a butt man, it is just too obvious.

  3. Written by Hugo Grinebiter
    on September 2, 2011 at 09:36

    Mick will enjoy knowing that the red heart is the traditional symbol of the Norwegian (home) lavatory.

    In 1967 Desmond Morris ‘”The Naked Ape” suggested that the sole reason for the human female breasts was, by imitation of the buttocks, to exert sexual attraction from the front.

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