A History Of Our Times In One Paragraph

In the beginning was 19th-century laissez-faire capitalism. And the people flocked to the industrial cities to feed the maw of the factories, and were wretched, and listened to revolutionaries and anarchists. The less wise among their rulers said, “Let us crush this stiff-necked people by force of arms.” But the wiser rulers said, “No, let us give them social insurance and affordable housing and medical care and regulate their working conditions, that they may be healthier and happier and work for us better and not rise up to cut our throats in the middle of the night.” And it was done. Then there arose the Soviet Union, and the rulers endeavoured to strangle it at birth, but could not do so. And the Soviet Union waxed very strong, and was the first to send a man into the firmament that is above the earth. Then the less wise among the rulers said, “Let us nuke the Soviet Union to bedrock.” But the wiser rulers said, “No, let us give the people even more social insurance and affordable housing and medical care and regulate their working conditions even more, lest they look to the Soviet Union as the lighthouse of the future and yet cut our throats in the middle of the night.” And this too was done. Then there arose a man who discovered the right way to destroy the Soviet Union, and it was done. And then the less wise among the rulers said to the wiser, “Move over, wimps. With this modern surveillance and control technology we can do anything we like.” And they said unto the people, “Hey, you know all that neat stuff we’ve been giving you for the last hundred years? Well, the party’s over. We want it all back.”

(Originally written in the first years of the century. Now, wages will have to be cut some more so that our betters can regain the wealth they lost in the great crash.)

Posted on May 26, 2009 at 08:21 by Hugo Grinebiter · Permalink
In: RESISTANCE IS FUTILE!, The Age Of Enron-cence

One Response

Subscribe to comments via RSS

  1. Written by Kathleen Weber
    on June 4, 2009 at 03:55
    Permalink

    I thought we had hit bottom with Viet Nam. We will see what the 21 brings.

Subscribe to comments via RSS

Leave a Reply