Mr. Speaker’s Taser

Before the Speaker of the House of Commons there lies a mace. Although no one much uses maces any more, and the average Briton may not even know what one is, that there should be a mace on the Speaker’s table is Tradition, and therefore sacrosanct. A bolshie minority that refuses to kow-tow to such outworn traditions might desire that the mace be removed. But there is a third course that ought to satisfy both sides: to honour, not the accidental outward form of the tradition, but the essence thereof. Respect for tradition demands, therefore, that the Speaker should sit behind our own contemporary technology for committing mayhem on those who defy his authority. A fully-automatic assault rifle is too indiscriminate, and its medieval equivalent would anyway have been a body of longbowmen; the Speaker ought perhaps to be given an ornate, jewel-encrusted and very powerful taser.

Posted on May 13, 2009 at 11:14 by Hugo Grinebiter · Permalink
In: GETTING MEDIEVAL, The Past Is Another Country

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  1. Written by Ghost in the Machine
    on May 15, 2009 at 13:20
    Permalink

    Hey, what a brilliant idea!
    Perhaps they can start a new tradition and use a stun-gun in the US Senate to stop filibusters. Under the principle that “If you don’t have anything to say, the very least you can do is to shut up.”

    Mind you, it’s rather timely.

    …and while we’re at it, how about giving one to Rush Limbaugh’s sound technician?

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