Good Little Boys Don’t Know What Women Want

Some parents used to imprint – perhaps some still do – on their boy-children that women want first of all love, commitment and security, and sex only within the framework of, or as an expression of, these things. In this generalisation there is some truth, but by no means enough to create a healthy adult male with a realistic understanding of the world. The young man who believes what he is told and is lucky enough to fall seriously in love with a woman whose psychology conforms to the model will be fortunate; if he also desires love, commitment and security they may make an old-fashioned courtship and marriage with a reasonable prospect of success. More likely than this, however, is that the boy wants to sow his wild oats, and so acts in bad faith, offering the mandated love and commitment as bait on the hook; he might very well be lying to himself as well as to the girls. If they see through him, he will remain unlaid, but if not, then not.

Such a boy, who makes himself believe that he wants only The One, because this is how he was taught women operate, will be quite flummoxed by girls who “just want to have fun”, and later by cougars seeking the “zipless fuck”. He may be horrified by them, or enthralled by them, but in either case he is likely completely to misunderstand their signals. And they, not knowing what a bill of goods he has been sold, may not understand his. Sexual education should, therefore, consist not only of information about pregnancy and disease, but also a true account of humanity’s sexual nature and behaviour, in which the most important fact is that different people want different things.

Posted on September 11, 2010 at 12:31 by Hugo Grinebiter · Permalink

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