What We Least Want To Know

It may be men who spout the laws, said Céline, but when things get serious it is always the ladies who decide. According to Aphra Behn, often cited as a pioneer feminist, the whole business of a royal court is in the hands of the “she-favourites”; and I get the same impression from Ottoman history. Suppose, just suppose, that we have gotten everything just precisely ass-backwards: just suppose that Homo sapiens sapiens is a disguised matriarchy and that the real driver of the species is the female hierarchy. We would then resemble elephants more than apes.

Suppose, just suppose, that women’s prime directive is to become the head of their group, and that males are attached as ancillaries to that group, in the capacity of revenue sources, status symbols (for keeping score), sperm donors and hired security. Now, hired security sometimes runs out of control, in the same way as the praetorian guards could make and unmake emperors, often fatally; but abusus non tollit abusum.

History could then be rewritten in terms of the eternal and inevitable struggle between female lineages, in which males are hired to nobble the offspring of competing women. Again, this is a strategy that can backfire, as when a woman marries a protector who abuses the children of her first marriage, reducing her overall genetic success though not his. As for war, it should be remembered that the women of a defeated and raped nation are not expecting to lose. They are expecting to have their male ancillaries hand it out to the rival lineages.

Now, supposing, just supposing that this were the real story, what would be anybody’s motivation for pretending otherwise? Men have none whatsoever. If any man was capable of realising that men were merely genetic assay devices to determine which sperm donor the client would do best to select, it would have to be an elderly one who had never reproduced and never wanted to. Like me. So too for everything that goes together with the package, such as the insight that young women do not dump us but manoeuvre us into setting them free to play the field again. It is deeply humiliating for men to realise that they are objects, spear-carriers, easy tools, here to swell a progress or start a scene or two – in short, Fools.

But then we must ask whether being actually in charge is something the women would ever like to admit. Why, that would turn a stronger spotlight on the puppeteering, and they might be held responsible for the results. Above all, they would lose the opportunity to claim the emotional high ground, to play the victim, to weep and rend their clothes whenever they lose a rubber of the game.

So if men have absolutely zero motivation to describe the human race as it really is, and women have absolutely zero motivation to describe the human race as it really is, who does that leave? We will always remember Teiresias, but modern transsexuals have enough on their plate. And I do not know enough about them to say anything intelligent.

(Fiddle date-stamp to March 1 2013)

Posted on October 1, 2021 at 15:20 by Hugo Grinebiter · Permalink
In: MONKEY BUSINESS, A Theory Of Everybody

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