Pre-Emptive Dumping

“When a woman preaches constancy, it is not because she wants the same lover always”, De Sade’s father told him, “but because she would rather leave him than be left.” I have not been a lover sufficiently often to confirm or disconfirm this, but even my meagre experience runs to two examples. Case Two, the lady grew suspicious that I might be tiring of her, and ended the relationship on the spot. This was a perfect case of the principle cited by De Sade Senior; the important thing was not to have or not have a particular individual but rather the points-scoring. Case One, the woman wanted me back every time I found someone new, then dumped me again. Clearly, she did not want me in any meaningful sense, merely to deny me to others.

Both cases were clear as regards the will to power, but I had not connected this scam with the preaching of “constancy”. Now that De Sade Senior mentions it, however, that value does seem to be rather a set-up. It helps pin the victim in place, like a butterfly, until you yourself are good and ready to leave him. Or her. Because I see no reason why this should be a game for just the one sex to play.

(Fiddle to January 19, 2011)

Posted on January 7, 2021 at 19:06 by Hugo Grinebiter · Permalink
In: MONKEY BUSINESS, What Is This Thing Called Love?

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