Archive for the ‘The Well-Groomed Victim’ Category

Good Children Don’t Understand How Things Work

For C.J. Cherryh’s atevi aliens, upbringing means teaching children to perceive the motives of others, a concept quite unknown to the middle-class parents of my generation. In many animal species, parents teach their young essential skills. Felines, for instance, take their kits and cubs hunting. There may be a lot more teaching going on in […]

The Purpose Of College

Naïve youngsters imagine that the purpose of university is to acquire learning, expand their horizons, study fun subjects and so forth; in other words, to become educated. Less naïve youngsters, and most parents, imagine that the real purpose of university is not so much to become educated as to obtain a good degree that will […]

Good Children Can’t Negotiate

Many people hold that a child needs two parents, but not necessarily for the right reasons. One benefit of having two parents is most certainly nothing to do with offering the child one man and one woman as role models; having two parents of the same gender would do the trick equally well. This benefit […]

Posted on September 10, 2010 at 09:50 by Hugo Grinebiter · Permalink · Leave a comment
In: PARENTAL STATUS TECHNOLOGY, The Well-Groomed Victim

Good Little Boys Don’t Know What Women Want

Some parents used to imprint – perhaps some still do – on their boy-children that women want first of all love, commitment and security, and sex only within the framework of, or as an expression of, these things. In this generalisation there is some truth, but by no means enough to create a healthy adult […]

Posted on September 11, 2010 at 12:31 by Hugo Grinebiter · Permalink · Leave a comment
In: PARENTAL STATUS TECHNOLOGY, The Well-Groomed Victim

The Kids’ Place In The Food Chain

People have written extensively on the human shame at being engendered and then coming into the world in such an undignified and messy fashion. If we are to feel ashamed at this, however, it would only be reasonable for us to be embarrassed also at what we then have to do in order to stay […]

Posted on September 12, 2010 at 11:44 by Hugo Grinebiter · Permalink · Leave a comment
In: PARENTAL STATUS TECHNOLOGY, The Well-Groomed Victim

Turning Your Child’s Other Cheek

The doctrine of “turning the other cheek” may be a valid choice for an adult who, of his own free will and conviction, opts out of our status hierarchy and self-assertion games; but that as something taught to children it is downright wrong and evil. He who truly loves his child will teach it the […]

Posted on September 13, 2010 at 09:43 by Hugo Grinebiter · Permalink · Leave a comment
In: PARENTAL STATUS TECHNOLOGY, The Well-Groomed Victim

Anger Management

Children have traditionally been punished for displaying anger. They are told that they should exhibit self-control instead. However, the idea behind this does not seem to be the excellent advice of “Don’t get mad, get even”, but rather that they should take no action in respect of whatever makes them angry. At the same time, […]

Posted on September 14, 2010 at 11:19 by Hugo Grinebiter · Permalink · Leave a comment
In: PARENTAL STATUS TECHNOLOGY, The Well-Groomed Victim

Good Children “Cooperate”

There was once a time when parents, or at any rate fathers, thought of child-rearing mostly along the dimension of the strong, vigorous individual versus the weakling. Too often this meant tormenting the artist or bookworm in a vain attempt to make him the sort of muscular, hardy, self-confident idiot required to run the Empire. […]

Posted on September 15, 2010 at 10:06 by Hugo Grinebiter · Permalink · Leave a comment
In: PARENTAL STATUS TECHNOLOGY, The Well-Groomed Victim

The Purpose Of Play

When children play unsupervised, they learn everything they need to know about living on this planet: namely hierarchy, cooperation, power, coalition-building, propaganda, reciprocity, sycophancy, retaliation, deterrence, bluffing and the calling of bluffs. They learn that if they do this and that, then that and this generally follow; they learn that there is no inherent justice […]

Posted on September 16, 2010 at 10:09 by Hugo Grinebiter · Permalink · Leave a comment
In: PARENTAL STATUS TECHNOLOGY, The Well-Groomed Victim

Everyone Be Nice, Except The Girls!

Identity is necessarily created and shaped by exclusion. First comes the boundary between ourselves and the outside world, a distinction whose learning is muddled by nutrition, excretion, sensory experience and communication. Later comes social identity, the boundary between ourselves and other people. I do not really know what I am, other than that I am […]

Posted on September 17, 2010 at 09:46 by Hugo Grinebiter · Permalink · Leave a comment
In: PARENTAL STATUS TECHNOLOGY, The Well-Groomed Victim