Archive for the ‘This Be The Verse’ Category

Grandparents As Zero-Sum Game

We all know that grandparents frequently work against their own offspring’s childrearing, often with positive results; for grandparents often seem far more capable of perceiving who the youngsters really are, and far more able to impart wisdom to them without putting their backs up. In other cases, however, they sabotage the upbringing and manoeuvre the […]

Posted on March 22, 2010 at 10:56 by Hugo Grinebiter · Permalink · One Comment
In: PARENTAL STATUS TECHNOLOGY, This Be The Verse

Shockability

Adolescents delight in shocking their parents. Obviously this is only possible if the parents can be shocked. The longer you live, the less shockable you ought to become, at any rate if you are paying attention to the real world; so perhaps these over-sensitive parents have not been paying attention. How does it come to […]

Posted on March 23, 2010 at 11:21 by Hugo Grinebiter · Permalink · One Comment
In: PARENTAL STATUS TECHNOLOGY, This Be The Verse

“Worried Sick”

“Worried sick”, which many parents claim to be vis-à-vis their children some of the time or even all of the time, is an interesting expression. Does it mean worried until we’re sick, or worried not in a healthy way but in a sick way? Worry can also function as a ready-made excuse for the parents” […]

Posted on March 24, 2010 at 09:51 by Hugo Grinebiter · Permalink · Leave a comment
In: PARENTAL STATUS TECHNOLOGY, This Be The Verse

The Tactics Of Gratitude

A basic negotiating technique is that you get the other guy to do you a favour, whereupon he is more favourably disposed. This is because we feel good towards those we help, rather than towards those who help us. Most people know this, or can be brought to understand it quickly. There is a technical […]

Posted on March 24, 2010 at 22:28 by Hugo Grinebiter · Permalink · Leave a comment
In: PARENTAL STATUS TECHNOLOGY, This Be The Verse

Savouring The Ingratitude

Parents who are forever banging the drum about their concern over largely innocuous behaviour or non-existent risks are generally the same ones who talk about their children’s ingratitude several times a day. Just as they actually enjoy being “Worried Sick”, so too do they savour the ingratitude of others. For their hurt feelings allow them […]

Posted on March 25, 2010 at 12:20 by Hugo Grinebiter · Permalink · Leave a comment
In: PARENTAL STATUS TECHNOLOGY, This Be The Verse

No Defence Permitted

My parents’ generation was fond of interdicting all protest against its sanctions with the phrase “Don’t try to justify yourself!” This repays some deconstruction. The verb “try” suggests that the child might be in fact in a position to justify itself, if only it were allowed to try. The best way to avoid finding out […]

Posted on March 26, 2010 at 11:40 by Hugo Grinebiter · Permalink · Leave a comment
In: PARENTAL STATUS TECHNOLOGY, This Be The Verse

How Narcissists Praise

It has been suggested (by Po Bronson in the New York Magazine) that conventional parental encouragement is wildly counterproductive. If continually told how intelligent they are, children deduce that they do not need to make an effort. Indeed, working hard can become a stigma, proof that they cannot make it on their natural gifts alone. […]

Posted on March 27, 2010 at 11:36 by Hugo Grinebiter · Permalink · Leave a comment
In: PARENTAL STATUS TECHNOLOGY, This Be The Verse

“You’re Very Badly Brought Up!”

The term “spoiled”, as in “spoiled child”, is a past participle, meaning that the child is the object of the action of spoiling; he has been spoiled, presumably by his parents, guardians and others responsible for his upbringing. We might expand the concept in terms of the child being deceived by unrealistic promises or inappropriate […]

Posted on March 28, 2010 at 10:30 by Hugo Grinebiter · Permalink · Leave a comment
In: PARENTAL STATUS TECHNOLOGY, This Be The Verse

Let’s Start The Abuse Over

“Reconciliation”, “restoration of harmony”, “forgiveness” and so forth within families always involves the children abandoning their agenda and the parents maintaining theirs. The “fresh start” means that the parents make a fresh start on doing whatever it was that the children found intolerable.

Posted on March 29, 2010 at 11:36 by Hugo Grinebiter · Permalink · Leave a comment
In: PARENTAL STATUS TECHNOLOGY, This Be The Verse

Miserable Little Emperors

We are told that China’s one-child policy is going to land us with hundreds of millions of spoiled only children, “little emperors” as they are called. On the other hand, Chinese child-rearing was traditionally about remorseless criticism and very little praise. I do not know whether this now coincides with the spoiling or has been […]

Posted on March 30, 2010 at 11:27 by Hugo Grinebiter · Permalink · 3 Comments
In: PARENTAL STATUS TECHNOLOGY, This Be The Verse